Thirteenth Gambol

You could say that I have popped my head out of the big hole I have been in lately. I always feel better on strange days. It's the regular monotony of a "satisfying" life that gives me such depression. Maybe it's the lack of change that seems to kill me. All of this is probably only the best explanation I can attempt. "Jigsaw Falling into Place" comes on the radio unexpectedly. It seems odd that I smile at that.

I have spent the last week trying to deal with the emotions of a birthday and my son's imminent departure and a move into a vast empty place from a cocoon of friends I needed to break out of. Leaving that place was like leaving a perfectly lovely situation that was smothering me. I need not to be satisfied. I won't change the necessary things if I am too comfortable, and I feel impelled to respond somehow to the forces that seem to be negatively affecting the world my children and yours will inherit. I cannot accept that the apparent mess is just how it's going to be. What exactly I can do about it is still unknown to me, but I trust the forces that are at work. I don't always like it, but with a faith like mine, I persevere. I know I personally do not have the strength to deal with what's on my plate, but the strength is there nonetheless. It comes from somewhere. Thankfully, I do not need to understand where it comes from to benefit.

( )

Wanting to make meaning happen
caught in the grill, wings fluttered, hope
again takes apart the cause of wind

Without the boy's eyes, another cigarette
another bright eyed flame begins to chew
through the miles oblivious in song

So home without, so colored, weighted
she becomes the science she knows
nothing about nor cares for but drinks

Of religion without a head to sneer
wasted upon the rock with the name
emblazoned by sun after sun

His bellicose pain, his wry bravery
comes upon the front of movement
quickly, appearing as if from fear

You make the smile of burning spread
across bedsheet after bedsheet, Dak
you make the woman shake her head free