Thirteenth Gambol

You could say that I have popped my head out of the big hole I have been in lately. I always feel better on strange days. It's the regular monotony of a "satisfying" life that gives me such depression. Maybe it's the lack of change that seems to kill me. All of this is probably only the best explanation I can attempt. "Jigsaw Falling into Place" comes on the radio unexpectedly. It seems odd that I smile at that.

I have spent the last week trying to deal with the emotions of a birthday and my son's imminent departure and a move into a vast empty place from a cocoon of friends I needed to break out of. Leaving that place was like leaving a perfectly lovely situation that was smothering me. I need not to be satisfied. I won't change the necessary things if I am too comfortable, and I feel impelled to respond somehow to the forces that seem to be negatively affecting the world my children and yours will inherit. I cannot accept that the apparent mess is just how it's going to be. What exactly I can do about it is still unknown to me, but I trust the forces that are at work. I don't always like it, but with a faith like mine, I persevere. I know I personally do not have the strength to deal with what's on my plate, but the strength is there nonetheless. It comes from somewhere. Thankfully, I do not need to understand where it comes from to benefit.