A Bit of Floatsam

You know how a digital picture can be blown up to the point of pixelation and what used to be a fine piece of lovely optic stimulation becomes bits of color that don't make a whole lot of sense unless you are a fan of dots? I'm feeling this in my life. There are so many bits that make up the altogether, but I am having a very tough time reeling out far enough to see what kind of image appears. I don't feel out of focus, but I do feel that I am too close in.

I see the dot that is the part of you I want to be different. I see the blip that confounds me. I see the lightning blocks that energize me, the swath that I can no longer touch, the spot of you that wants my spot. This is the angle of the part of your body I love the most. This is the point that keeps coming up that I wish wouldn't. This is the period that says the sentence is over.

Caught up in the drag race, is there anything other than the road? I know that within you and I there is another, more comprehensive meaning than either you or I, but that the design is intentionally mismanaged. Ah, safety. Crack open any self-help book. This is the advice you have been looking for. The answer is yes and sometimes no.

Meanwhile, I keep having to open the door. I keep shutting it. Then I pull the blinds, which I then discover I have done and open up again with a huff. I'm open to all, but not to you. You are totally open to me, just not now. Oh, you want in? I just locked the door and I don't have the key. You have the key but the lock only works from this side.

I don't like the tangent we are on, but I've totally forgotten what we were talking about before. It seemed important and I meant to come back to it, but so many conversations have happened since then. With all this wind and weather, I could use an anchor, an angel, even an argument. Forget the big eaters. Let them consume it all and we'll live well. We'll change what we can when we can.

From this close in, it could be an abyss, but it started because I wanted to get so dear to you while you slept I became the breath of you. Now we are floating as dust in the sun.