How Do I Say

As if it were the very meaning of it all
against the light of others who mean
to let their cats fight all night long
and just get a new dog in the morning
because the money is good
and they forgot to fret about the meaning
or the meaning was enough
and they let the money come and go

But it was you I wanted to impress
with the madness of my spins
through the empty parking lot
at the old college of before now
it was you I always looked for in the thin
crowd I wouldn't command without
and they danced and I made out
like the feeling of this and the edge
held anything more than lost hours

And I got a little bit down at the corners
and tucked in where I was asked
and brought out the dust and the sighs
and lost out behind the desks of day

Where there was no darkness
and pain was something that forgave
and asked again anew if there was
anything I kept trying to forget

And I said with my face in a curl
I am this box scratched from the inside
and one of your cats is not going to live
and the money you sent is only paper
drawn on with a child's hope
and if I get another chance to go on
with the wine and the laughter and the dance
what has changed will be the music
of how broken means more more more